Checkup - Mexico

In his attempt to put a new patient at ease during a checkup,
my friend, a gynecologist, struck up a casual conversation.

After noticing the label on her sandals read "Hecho en Mexico,"
he asked his patient,

"So when were you in Mexico?"

Flabbergasted, the patient asked,

"You can tell all that from a pelvic exam?"

Honeymoon Prank

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married,
Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now
ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was
coming.

Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up
during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be
married'. His reception wasn't disrupted by streakers or strippers,
and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect
working order.

When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even
checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved).
Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away
unscathed, the couple fell into bed and put their attention to
consummating the union.

Upon waking after such an active night, the couple was ravenous so
Bill called down to room service and asked "Can I get breakfast for
two?". Before he was able to hang up, however, a soft voice from under
the bed said "Make that five..."

20 Tigers

Kolkata....

Yesterday there was a rare picture obtained of 20 tigers together here.
It is not a photoshop creation but a picture of a rare happening.

Leather

When a woman wears leather clothing:

A man's heart beats quicker,

and his throat gets dry,

and he goes weak in the knees,

and he begins to think irrationally.

Ever wonder why?








Because she smells like a new truck...

Crazy Ads

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered

SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo.
$800/month plus 1/2 utilities. Must enjoy garlic, taxidermy & clock repair.

SWF: Seeks any M, age 16-52, for immediate marriage.
Willing to beg. Call 24/hours, 7/days 1-800-I'm-4you.

SWM: 39, enjoys assault rifles, heavy drinking, and testosterone.
Seeks like-minded SF, W only, to listen to political conspiracy theories
and help stock secluded mountain shelter. Don't bother to write, I already know where you live.

SWF: 25, enjoys poetry recitals, interpretive dance, herb tea, New Age
music, Communing with Gaian nature spirits, and Jello sculpting.
Seeks aloof, analytic whimp.

SWM: 59, wide range of interests including: Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Power Rangers, and Sea Quest.
ISO compatible F.

SM: Seeking an adventurous SF Interested in underwater bondage with or
w/o scuba gear And albino livestock breeding. No weirdos please.

SBM: Vegetarian Truck-driving Republican juggler Wishes to meet woman
of similar interests Must be ambidextrous.

DWF: Crazy ppl Need Love Too. If you enjoy destroying good furniture, Police lineups and locking your
friends in closets, We already have three things in common !
Let's get together.

DM: Physician, 35 Desires to meet that special woman with real inner
beauty. Send latest X-rays.

DWM: Compulsive Liar Seeks beautiful woman to share my million dollar
Riviera chateau. Visa Gold Card a must. Private plane a plus.

SWM: 32, my life's work is verifying, in detail, all the episodes shown
on"The X-Files". ISO SWF with like dedication. Must be willing to travel a lot

Two Men Talking

Man 1: Haircut?

Man 2: Yeah.

2 Women Talking

Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror.
I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think
my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman 2: Are you serious? Your face is adorable. You could easily get
one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually
going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything
to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.

Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your
shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms,
see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to
fit me so much easier.